I was taken aback when my cousin called to share her post-breakup plans after separating with her partner of three years. “We’re going on a trip,” she announced, her voice oddly upbeat. “A breakup-moon, actually, to celebrate the end of our relationship.” Puzzled, I mulled over this unconventional approach to a breakup after we ended our call.
As it turns out, my cousin isn’t an anomaly: According to Jamie Bichelman, a licensed mental health counselor, a breakup-moon is new terminology given to a trip taken by a couple who are in the process of ending their romantic relationship or have ended it. And more and more people are taking this atypical type of vacation. Even celebrities and politicians take breakup-moons.
The reasons why former couples do this can vary. Some simply cannot get their money back for a trip they’ve already paid for, so they take it anyway. Others use travel as a way to navigate the complex emotions of their separation.
HuffPost spoke with three people about their experience with breakup-moons and why they did ― or didn’t ― go through with them. Here’s what they had to say:
‘It reminded me why our relationship fell apart in the first place.’
Lilith Foxx, a 32-year-old board-certified sexologist and relationship coach, traveled to Austin, Texas, on a breakup-moon with her partner of one year. The trip had been prepaid, leading to an unexpected post-breakup journey that wasn’t marked by hatred or adverse feelings toward her ex.
“It began as a practical decision, even though we knew our relationship was ending,” Foxx explained. “We went a week and a half after breaking up. For me, it became a healing experience and a way to mourn the end of our relationship.”
Though their split was triggered by the discovery of his infidelity, for Foxx, she found it offered her valuable perspective on their inevitable separation.
“Having him on the trip helped because it reminded me why our relationship fell apart in the first place. We were on the way out, and I noticed mannerisms I didn’t appreciate,” she said.
Unlike her previous breakups, this unique experience provided Foxx with a better emotional coping mechanism because she didn’t harbor the usual negative feelings toward her ex-partner.
“I didn’t ‘hate’ him like I had with other exes. I didn’t villainize him or feel hostility. Our final time together made me realize it wasn’t worth prolonging this relationship further,” Foxx said.
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