By volunteering around the world, I found my purpose in life, my husband and my roots | Volunteering holidays

The first time I joined a volunteering trip I was 22, and had no idea what I wanted to do in life. It was in the summer of my third year at university, in 2018, and the project was a 10-week expedition with Raleigh International in Malaysian Borneo.

Raleigh offered bursaries, covering flights, insurance and vaccinations, to people from socioeconomically disadvantaged backgrounds [Raleigh International Trust went into administration in May 2022 and was acquired by The Impact Travel Group but still offers expeditions]. I was thrilled to be given a place on the scheme, and the bursary was a huge help. It also meant my fundraising target before the trip was reduced from the £2,000-plus they typically ask for to £800.

Landing in Kota Kinabalu on the morning of 4 July, after an all-nighter the day before and a restless 18-hour journey, I felt exhausted. And yet, as I sat on the airport floor scanning the tired faces of my soon-to-be fellow volunteers, I couldn’t help feeling excited. So much possibility hung in the humid air.

The volunteer managers split us into our basecamp teams. This would be the group we’d stick with during our training, after which we would be assigned to our three phases: community (typically water, sanitation and hygiene projects in a rural village); conservation (tree planting and nature preservation initiatives); and a leadership jungle trek. Every phase would last three weeks, with a short changeover back at basecamp in between.

There were volunteers from all over the world, including Malaysia. It’s amazing how quickly strangers become friends when you’re in an unfamiliar setting, but for me there was one relationship that stood out above the others.

His name was Christian and he arrived in a light pink cap, worn backwards. He was one of the managers, originally from Sheffield in the UK. We ended up working together during my second phase, on a conservation project in Danum Valley that involved building a bridge to improve scientists’ access to the primary rainforest.

Romantic relationships between volunteers and managers were forbidden, so that was on neither of our minds. Looking back, it definitely helped: it meant we could develop a trusted friendship first.

We found ourselves gravitating towards each other often. The conversation…