Simon Calder, also known as The Man Who Pays His Way, has been writing about travel for The Independent since 1994. In his weekly opinion column, he explores a key travel issue – and what it means for you.
Life. Dreams. Magic.
Were you to create a word cloud based on the destination slogans on display at the annual World Travel Market, these three would be writ large – as a discovered while touring the travel trade show and assessing marketing messages.
It would be too easy to snipe at ludicrous claims such as “Emotions are Georgia” and invitations to “Live your second life in Rhodes”. So as a service to the travel industry and to illustrate why I was never cut out for a career in marketing, I will prescribe a few alternatives.
Georgia – and dozens of other countries, from Scotland to Colombia – could instead try a very simple: “Mountains. Beaches. Culture. Gastronomy. Friendly.”
Moving west, Rhodes and every other Greek island could go with “Land of Mythos” – a reference to my favourite beer in Greece.
Staying in Europe, Andalucia insists: “No joy in life is small.” Yet the southern Spanish region is full of mini-joys, such as the complimentary tapas that still accompany drinks at bars in Granada. “Joy in a range of sizes,” would be nearer the mark.
Further south, the Canary Islands insist they are located at the “latitude of life”. I can think of many good reasons for returning to the archipelago, including the fact that they are halfway to the Equator for many Brits, but I can confirm the existence of life at many other latitudes. “Fairly close, very sunny” would work for me.
Kerala goes for not one but two claims: “God’s own country” and “The magic every day.” Really? I was lucky enough to explore the southern Indian state in 2019, and recall simply “Good experiences every day”. No need for magic. And I advise steering clear of the Almighty in matters of travel, in particular slogans along the lines of “If God did holidays …”.
“Incredible India” itself has merit in being concise and a fair comment. But right now prospective travellers are facing “Incredible Delays” getting visas after the government in Delhi decided to exclude British holidaymakers from some favourite winter escapes by barring us from the eVisa.
Thailand should forget “Amazing new chapters”…
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