Try Kindness: Some Thoughts for Trying Times

Be kind whenever possible.  It is always possible.

– 14th Dalai Lama

In June I was scheduled to fly from Newark to Atlanta, a two and a half-hour flight. Departure time was 1:51 p.m., so I expected to arrive about 4:30, and a fun evening was planned. I was primed to get on the plane, have a nice snooze, and be fresh for the activities. But boarding time was pushed back an hour. Then when we did get on the airplane, we went nowhere.

The pilot said that because we were late, we had lost our place in line to take off, and there was a line in front of us. There were various problems in the system that day. We sat on the tarmac for two hours, with no air conditioning, no drinks or snacks. I felt too hot and sweaty to sleep. Every now and then the apologetic pilot came back on the loudspeaker and give us a progress report, which sounded like no progress at all. It was a hot day. The flight was full so we were all scrunched up together in the heat. We weren’t allowed to get out of our seats.

I felt trapped, like a character in the absurdist play No Exit. After two-plus hours, the airline had to let us off the plane because of some regulation. So, we taxied back to the gate and exited the plane and were told to stay close to watch for our next chance to take off. In the end, our takeoff was delayed six and a half hours and I was lucky to get to Atlanta before midnight. Once the ordeal was over, of course, I forgot all about it almost immediately.

Nobody on that flight was happy about it, but I was pleasantly surprised how well people took it. I’ve seen many reports lately of people blowing up at frontline workers in every line of business: flight attendants, desk clerks, health workers, even teachers. I was glad that scene didn’t play out for us that day. I guess videos of people throwing tantrums had given me the impression that this was normal now. But in spite of the discomfort and frustration, people were remarkably good humored about it. The plane was packed, it was a diverse group, and everyone was nice.

We  have been living through some trying times, and maybe people have shorter fuses than usual. Fortunately on this trip, everyone managed their stress with grace.

I think the rise in incivility can be chalked up to the unprecedented stresses of the times, most notably the pandemic, which affected everyone. So, we have more people who have been pushed closer to the edge than usual. People are often ready to snap. Then there are…